Brothers

3.5/5
I consider this to be a war movie-or somewhere in that genre. Based on a Danish movie of the same translated name Brodre (2004). Unfortunately I haven't seen the original so I cannot offer any comparisons; however, I can offer a glimpse of the 2009 release with Toby, Nat, and Jake. The acting is great. Even the kids in the movie intensify the drama. It is stressful and evokes some emotions that The Box (Richard Kelly 2009) failed to evoke. I don't want to give anything away about the movie, but I am glad that the story chose to go as far as it did without crossing the line. I don't know if I need to credit that to original, Susanne Bier, or the adapter, David Benioff.

The ending held up to the whole movie so I can't think of any reason why you would feel the strong desire to overdose on anti-depressants shortly after. Just treat our Veterans better please.

Whiteout

2.5/5
This movie molests you. It has bad dialogue and mocks your intelligence. Besides the bad stuff this is an entertaining movie. I had a hard time accepting the fact that the story is good because of the blatant slaps to my intelligence's face, but I accepted it after Kate Beckinsale strips down to her skivvies. It was entertaining and kept me guessing; mostly because I don't know what goes on in the Antarctic, but I was right on some of the mystery aspects of the story. There was a lot that still kept me guessing. A good example of a classic murder mystery set in a frigid wasteland.
Some comical parts take you out of the intensity of the film, and the flash backs blow, but it still held together-barely. The acting pretty much sucked and, as I stated before, the dialogue does too. It's based on a comic book of the same name so that might explain some of the melodrama. Some comics do that.The reason I gave it a 2.5 and not a .5 is it reminded me of those good 'ol murder mystery flicks. Just straight up without the crazy twist everyone tries for today.

Surrogates

2.5/5
This movie hates you! It hates what you do during the day, and it definitely hates when you update your status about it.
Surrogates has bad dialogue throughout and is predictable, but it is entertaining so don't hate on the writers; who brought us the last two installments of the Terminator series and adapted this film from a comic book of the same name.
I hate to say this, but Bruce Willis is entertaining. I might lose a lot of readers with that last comment, and I think I can deal with that, but if you want to watch a Bruce Willis movie and enjoy it then you have to throw dialogue, premise, and logic out the window. That's not true. Bruce actually kills the b.o. Go ahead and check out his IMDb. Surrogates isn't one of the good movies that he's in, its more of a Fifth Element type. If you liked that film then go see this. You won't walk out of the theater and desperately seek for a hot iron to gouge out your eyeballs. You won't.
Now when I said that this movie hates you, I meant it, because it does. If you abuse the internet and are an active member of some social media, it hates you. I think I know three people in the world who do not and are not. Surrogates is a story of digital puppets of our residual selves. Humans interact through these digital bodies whilst a very real and literal human being sits at home in a chair. Sound familiar?
I might lose some readers just from this realization. Actually don't go see it. You don't need someone to tell you your lifestyle of long hours on the web of digital mediums is counterfactual or - dissolute!

A Christmas Carol 3-D

4/5
I hated Up, and Wall-E was the most retarded movie in 435 years, but Disney's idea to steal a horrifying classic and stick pretty close to the original script was their best animated holiday idea yet.
In 3-D every movie is good. I can't argue that because all the movies I have seen in 3-D are good movies, and Beowulf is the first. The marvel of 3-D is one that fascinates me like a child in a toy store. I take on a childlike persona: giddy and jumpy, but this movie is much more than cheap scare tactics and insane animation its Charles Dicken's story incarnate.
I honestly did not care to see this movie. I thought it would be another crappy holiday movie with Jim Carrey crapping it up, but my mind was persuaded when I slapped those realD glasses on, and I was converted by the ghost Marley's horrifying visit. It was a fantastic adventure. I don't want to spoil any bit of the movie so you have to go see this one. And see it in 3-D.

The Invention of Lying

3/5
This was an average movie. I can't say that I laughed particularly hard nor can I say that I wanted to punch myself in the balls to focus on a more excruciating pain.
The movie had a hard time gaining traction; however, some of my confidants said the movie took off quick and petered out. I feel the opposite. The beginning was gimmicky to me. It was a horrible attempt at raw/shock comedy. We are introduced into a world where no person can lie. The first scene is a blind date, and we are immediately slapped in the face with a whole dialogue of Garner's and everyone else's inner monologues. But as the movie develops that stops. He learns that his secretary and coworker, the two people he sees most often, have kept their intense loathe and disgust for him from him.
As the movie gathers, though, it does get better. The humor settles and the real sarcasm and criticism can outshine the fact that people are blurting out perversions and rude rants. A story just might have reared its shy little head. I wouldn't count on having that feeling of satisfaction as you walk out though.
It isn't as good as anything that he has written, but it wasn't putrid. I actually didn't think he wrote it until I saw the end credits. Very surprising. It was more like Ghost Town if that helps.

Hurt Locker

4/5
You won't need to see an action flick for 3-6 months after you see this. Let me rephrase that; you won't relax a muscle for about 2 hours. I don't want to put it in terms of genre because genres have been polluted by garbage films, a.k.a. Blockbusters. So I want to describe feelings or emotions that you might feel.
I won't lie that the movie is somewhat predictable, but it doesn't matter because it is a predictable movie like 3:10 to Yuma, Dial 'M' for Murder, or The House on Haunted Hill (the originals).
Tense. The. Whole. Movie. I haven't seen an action suspense movie like this for quite awhile. I think of The Game, although not as cryptic, but it is definitely as exorbitant. I was sweating in the suit right along with Renner (28 Weeks Later, Assassination of Jesse James), provoked by his Sgt.'s blaring voice through the radio, and strung out after every success. It's more than sitting and watching, it's experiencing. It's breathing. It's trusting. It's aiming. It's war.
The best war movie I have seen in a long time.

Love Happens

2/5
This film got made because Aaron Eckhart (Thank You For Smoking, The Dark Knight), Jennifer Aniston (Marley & Me, Along Came Polly), and Martin Sheen (Apocalypse Now) attached to it. Why they liked it? Good question. I refuse to condemn the actors; instead I accuse the Writer/Director (Brandon Camp) for the stinking terd that hit the screen.
Silly dialogue, overacting, and ridiculous swings in the overall mood of the movie were very offputting. But the story was the main reason I couldn't wait to get out the smelly seats of the dollar theater. It's a story about a man who motivates people to get over their lost loved ones, but he himself finds new love. Smitten with her, but unable to deal with the problems he helps others to overcome, he becomes entangled in lies...it is boring even to pitch it.
The ending wraps up quick; because we weren't too deep I guess. Just as the real Burke starts to bare his nasty teeth, someone says, "hey man, you should really get your teeth fixed."
Burke responds, "I know. I have been meaning to, but I really hate dentists. I will schedule an appointment. Thanks man."
That's it. It ends. It doesn't talk about the problem or the solution, just that there is a problem.
No need to go see this, but Jennifer is cute as a button as usual.

9

3.5/5
Going into this movie with low expectations, it's next to impossible these days to go to a movie without hearing the reviews, is what made this movie better for me. It's a movie that you remember. As much as you may hate it, and feel the story is vacant or as bad as a pre-teen's teeth, I promise you will never forget the creatures or the world in which they now survive. There is detail beyond life in each scene that, unless you watch the film a hundred or more times, you will never regard.
A series of ragdolls are left to a world that is dead. Overrun by machines, as most classic sci-fi terrors portray the battle between A.I. and man, leaves a post-apocalyptic desolate Earth to frightened Furbies on roids.
From the very beginning narration tells us that man's fervent pursuit of technology is ultimately his downfall so awakening in this cluttered desert, 9 falls from his creators Alchemist contraption, trying to make sense of it all. In his pursuit for answers, he stumbles onto ultimate realities of the human spirit embodied in eight different robot dolls like himself, each with it's own talent and weakness.
It is a wonderfully visual film, and is worth seeing, at least for an eye-gasm.

Whatever Works

3/5

Woody Allen's latest film stars Larry David and Evan Rachel Wood in a realistic satire on modern society.

Its an enjoyable film that is as narcissistic as it is pessimistic. David stars as a genius, almost Nobel nominated, and the only person with any idea of how life really works; the only one with "the big picture". Nervous and constantly ranting about the perils of society and our existence the character is Woody Allen. Most of Allen's films are written from his experience or his fantasy, but I think of all the films that I have seen of his this is how he really is; probably the main reason it went straight to DVD.

The movie breaks the fourth wall, and it does numb the dialogue a bit, but the audience isn't distracted as David's direct interaction is quickly replaced with narration. It does return; however, several times. I wouldn't worry about it though because the dialogue is still hilarious.

Drag me to Hell

2/5
I am still watching this movie and I have already given up on it. I will say that it was actually more humorous than scary. The sound FX were the focus of the whole movie. They probably spent most of the budget on the foley artists. I can't take the film seriously when an old lady is gumming Allison Lohman's face...twice.
The premise had promise, but the Raimi brothers may have mismarketed this one.
Actually now that I think more about the movie it is more of their Evil Dead style, but with a budget. For some reason budgets and horror films do not go together. When you watch this one keep in mind that it is funny and it may not be so bad.

A Guy Thing

(2003) 1.5/5

Notorious

2/5

The life and times of "Biggie Smalls" is respectfully portrayed in this one. I don't know how respectful his life was, and I'm not about to hold this film as a veracious depiction of the oversized rapper's biography; after all it was produced by Sean Combs. I had no expectation and I have no regret. It held my attention.

But I am disappointed that they decided to focus less on him and more on his career. I don't know anything that I couldn't have read on Wikipedia. In fact I read up on "Notorious BIG" on the end all, be all, authoritative site previously mentioned and learned more about him.

One annoying aspect of the film was the writers (no need to name) peppered the dialogue with lyrics from other songs, e.g. "mo' money mo' problems" and other stupid stuff like that. No need to see this one, unless you really like Christopher Wallace.

Sorority Row

.5/5

This has officially taken the lowest rating spot for all movies I have ever rated. I will keep this short because it was so bad.

If you want to see this movie for the same reason that I did (Audrina Patridge) then don't even go see it. *SPOILER* She dies in the first 7 minutes of the movie. You see her face for about 25 seconds. The other Theta Pi is really sexy too; Cassidy played by Briana Evigan (S. Darko, Step Up 2).

If you have seen I Know What You Did Last Summer, then you have seen this, but this has more and hotter girls and shows boobs.

Gigantic

3.5/5

I like a five star rating system because most people dont use a five star system. An average film is 2.5 and most people don't like using a half point as a standard.

Gigantic has been criticized by most as a collection of ramblings on about two people in bizarre situations, but I beg to differ. It's a collective look into the lives of strangers. It never makes complete sense on how much time passes between each scene, some longer while others are one night, but putting our characters into many situations in the course of 1 hr 30 min can explain a lot of the "jumpiness" feel of this movie. Films are life times three right. So if our characters are extraordinarily unimpressive and unvaried it works to move them all around the philosophical "cave"

The film is cast well. You will not be disappointed with the acting, nor the music, nor the scene sets. It's good. It's funny. It's a kalleidoscope view of strange people in a strange world that I have never experienced, but enjoyed watching.

Zombieland

4/5

Somehow the powers of the Earth combined and created one of the greatest zombie flicks. Now I say this knowing that one of the ironies of zombie horror is that sometimes an awful zombie movie is exactly what makes it good, but this was good, the double positive kind.

It also has the coolest intro that I have seen. Hyperspeed cameras combined with crazed zombies and flailing, frightened humans. What else can you ask for?

The movie mocks our current state as a society as much as a zombie film can without becoming Lions for Lambs (that movie was worse than Jesse the MTV VJ) starting out with the fatties. Rule #1 is Cardio.

I thought I was gonna wet my pants as the movie was building exposition. I won't spoil it anymore than I have, nor will I disclose the brillliant cameo appearance, but I will say you have to see this, and there is a bit part after the credits so stick around.

If you are a zombie movie fan, I even converted Little Moon after this one, then don't hesitate to see the new kid Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland, The Education of Charlie Banks) in his best role so far.